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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130247">The Nearest Thing to Dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMysticFantasy/pseuds/MagicMysticFantasy'>MagicMysticFantasy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Have Already Gone Supernova [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alien Culture, Aliens, All Hail the Coffee Gods, Gen, Ghosts, Hackers, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Humor, Mystery, Sentient!Enterprise, magic?, sentient machines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:13:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMysticFantasy/pseuds/MagicMysticFantasy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Weird things happen aboard the Enterprise. This is something all new officers learn sooner or later, but as unexpected events keep occurring, some officers are getting more than they bargained for, even when agreeing to serve under Captain Kirk.</p><p>OR</p><p>What a Sentient!Enterprise looks like to the common Starfleet officer, and all the chaos that ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Have Already Gone Supernova [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1210959</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Coffee Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was looking back at The Surprises of Captain Kirk, and saw a few reviews where people had mentioned they wanted to see more of the sentient ship. She was already going to make a return visit soon, but since reading those comments I really wanted to make a quick, less serious spin-off about what exactly living on a sentient ship would be like - especially if you had no idea it was alive. This is the result of that! Hope you enjoy this series of shenanigans. ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zenessa wasn’t quite sure what to expect when she was assigned to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>USS Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was honored to be chosen for the position since the rumor going around was that the captain himself picked out and approved all new crewmembers, but she’d also heard plenty of other stories about the crew of this particular starship that made her a little less certain about what she should expect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She, of course, ran into a good example of this during her first week aboard. She had noticed that several of the senior crewmembers seemed to talk aloud to themselves as they retrieved their coffee and breakfast from the replicator each morning. She was rather curious about the habit but wasn’t about to harass her commanding officers to get an answer - especially since she was so new. They - the Bridge Crew in particular - were also a little intimidating to be around. So smart they unintentionally made the rest of the crew look average at best, and there was an underlying intensity to them that made Zenessa nervous with a little more than just awe at meeting Starfleet legends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So it wasn’t until she had seen a fellow newbie doing the same thing that she had felt comfortable approaching to ask about it. As she got closer though, she noticed that he was taking it a step further than she had seen before, and looked almost like he was praying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Um, what are you doing?” she asked. Zenessa was pretty sure the officer’s name was Nungh, and at her approach, he smiled up at her cheerfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Praying to the replicator!” he exclaimed. “I swear I’ve seen some of our senior officers do it, and they get better coffee from it. I accidentally picked up the wrong cup yesterday, and theirs is so much better, that stuff is like nectar. So, I figured it was worth a shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or they just get better codes?” Zenessa suggested hesitantly. “I mean they are senior officers, there’s got to be some perks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you! I watched one of them put the code in!” Nungh insisted, gesturing at the replicator. “It’s the same one I use every morning. Look, just try it and see. Maybe it will work for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Zenessa conceded, a slightly indulgent smile pulling at her lips. She stepped forward and lilted her voice dramatically. “Oh great </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>, please bless me with the good coffee today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She then went to punch in her code and request the beverage, only for the replicator to begin whirring before her hand could even touch the panel. In half the time it normally took, a cup of steaming coffee was sitting innocently in front of her. A glance at its coloration also showed that it seemed to have the right milk ratio in it too. Zenessa blinked at it blankly for a moment, before Nungh nudged her, and she slowly reached out to grab it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, thanks?” she said, staring at the mug in her hands. She looked up at Nungh, whose eyes had gone wide, a little at a loss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?” he finally asked, gesturing hesitantly at the cup of coffee. Zenessa looked down at it again and blinked. She raised it to her lips and took a sip, before freezing in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...You were right, this is so much better,” she quietly admitted. “The milk to coffee ratio is perfect, and this tastes like a real roast, not that synthetic instant stuff it normally tastes like. As a woman of science, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but praying to the replicator actually works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both turned to look at the machine, a little at a loss about what to do. Nungh had been copying their senior officers just as a joke, and even Zenessa hadn’t expected it to work. Now they had irrefutable proof, and their senior officers clearly knew something that they didn’t if they were all doing it too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” came a voice from behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair of them turned to see Lieutenant Uhura standing with First Officer Spock and Captain Kirk, the three of them clearly having just arrived to eat breakfast. Zenessa immediately backed up, her free hand dragging Nungh back as well, barely suppressing a squeak of shock at suddenly being confronted with the trio she’d heard all about at the Academy. The Lieutenant moved forward to request her breakfast, and Zenessa was debating about fleeing the situation even as she automatically saluted as best she could with the full cup in her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you got the good coffee!” the Captain exclaimed, peering at her mug. Something about that statement made the other two turn to her as well. Zenessa felt like she was being re-evaluated as all three of her senior officers watched her for a long moment. She nervously shifted her weight, and the motion seemed to snap her seniors from their study of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare,” Lieutenant Uhura smiled. “Not many figure out how to get the good stuff, and even then not all of them receive it. You must have a way with machines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about that statement implied there was a second meaning to it, but whatever it was went right over Zenessa’s head. She flicked a glance at Nungh, surprised that he’d gone as quiet as he had after his cheerful greeting to her, but he must have been slightly starstruck as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not - not really,” she replied, wincing internally at her stutter. “Nungh had a suggestion and I tried it, that’s all. I’m not an engineer, I’m in Communications - an officer in the xenoculture sector as of last week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are Ensign Zenessa Davis,” the Commander suddenly spoke up. His eyes watched her closely, no doubt picking up dozens of data tidbits Zenessa wasn’t even aware she was giving off. “The captain approved your assignment two point six months ago, and signed off on your placement under Second Lieutenant Harrison due to start at the beginning of this week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right.” Zenessa’s voice wasn’t quite an octave higher than normal, but it was getting close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spock, stop, you’re scaring her,” the Captain laughed, clapping his First Officer’s shoulder playfully. “I’ve told you that you can get really intense when relaying data.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My apologies, it was not my intention to cause you discomfort,” the Commander responded promptly, and his intensity eased a little. Before Zenessa could respond, the captain returned his attention to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember your file, you specialize in artifacts, right? Figuring out how things from other cultures work?” Zenessa nodded, a little speechless at the revelation that he could remember a file he’d read over two and a half months ago, according to the Commander. The captain hummed, turning his attention to Nungh. “And you’re Ensign Nungh Dao, right? Working in electrical, down in Engineering?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nungh nodded from beside her. There was something calculated about the way the captain was looking at them both, and he studied them for a long moment before glancing at the replicator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see to it that you’re added to the rotation of Yeomen for the senior officers,” he finally said casually, as if nothing was unexpected about that statement. “That should help you two get some more opportunities to move up the ranks a little faster. Besides, anyone who can manage to get the good coffee from the ship is someone to keep around!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, before moving forward to the replicator himself. Nungh and Zenessa shared a glance, both doing their best to communicate their internal screaming to the other. Glancing back to the others, the Lieutenant seemed to take pity on them, smiling kindly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know this is a bit sudden, so sorry this idiot sprung all of this at you at once,” she said, casting a mild glare at the captain who let out a squawk of indignation that the Lieutenant promptly ignored. “You guys just arrived and are suddenly becoming Yeomen in addition to Ensigns. But, when it comes to this ship, we like those who she likes or who can figure her out. You’ll understand eventually, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile is more enigmatic at this point, but by now the Captain has gotten his food, as has the Commander, so Lieutenant Uhura sends them both a small wave and goes to sit down at a table with the two of them, leaving behind the two ensigns and a rapidly-cooling cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That just happened, right?” Nungh finally asked, finding his voice again now that their senior officers were gone. “We basically just got offered Yeoman positions our first week here because we prayed to the coffee gods to bless the replicator and they answered you? That wasn’t some fever dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that definitely happened,” Zenessa said, looking down at her coffee and taking another sip, before turning back to the replicator. There was something about it that made the senior officers take notice of her and Nungh, more than was warranted for just figuring out a useful replicator trick. “Hey Nungh, do you know how to pull up a schematic of this replicator? I’d like to take a closer look at it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hint of intrigue entered Nungh’s gaze as he looked over the machine before he slowly began to smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I can pull that off,” he said, clearly catching on to her thoughts. “Between your specialty and mine, we should be able to figure out what our commanding officers were hinting at sooner or later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it looks like we have our work cut out for us, then,” Zenessa responded, smiling as well. Glancing over her shoulder, she caught the eye of the Captain. He looked at the two of them for a moment before smirking and sending the pair of them a wink as he turned back to his conversation. That did it. There was officially a mystery on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Zenessa was going to find it. Turning back to Nungh, she smiled as well, then finished her coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, the first step of science was repeated testing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Could I get another cup of coffee? And I think Nungh would like one too if you’re willing.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Scotty Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some brief language at the end of this chapter bumped up the rating. Nothing too bad (two words, and they're pretty common), but cursing makes the rating go up regardless, so be aware! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Ah, lassie, ye’ve got ta take it easy on these nodules. If ye keep it up, ye’ll wear ‘em out, and then where will we be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A low, metallic groaning sounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know ye didnae mean to. But one of these days ye’ll break something I cannae fix, and there’ll be no end to the trouble. Alright, I’ve just got ta open up this panel and see what has busted. Can ye hold the parts still fer me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clicking of metal rings through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, lass. Ye know, yer getting better at controlling yerself. Wasn’t but a few months ago ye were struggling to even move a gear on yer own and now look at ye. Ye’ve grown, and ye should be proud of yerself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A series of clanks, followed by the sigh of a nearby vent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The captain’s been helping ye? Good fer him. He’s the good sort, I knew it the moment I clapped my eyes on him. Remind me to tell ye how we met - it was before yer time, and it’s a heck of a story. Tell me lass, I’ve been curious. How do ye see the captain? Is he like yer father? Yer brother? Maybe a teacher. Or is it no relation at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A long groan followed by a whoosh of air and a clatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I see. Well, ye couldn’t have picked better than our captain fer that. He likes to hide it, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders and an even better heart. He’ll do right by ye, ye can be sure of that. And if ye ever feel like ye need ta talk ta someone other than him, ye’ll always have me, understand, lassie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whistling air, then metallic thuds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Alright, then, it looks like ye’ve plain busted this one part. I’ll have ta re-route it fer now ta get it working, but it’s just a patch job so ye cannae be pulling the same stunts with it that ye were before until that happens - and I’d prefer it if ye didnae even after I fixed it, if ye don’t mind. Eventually I’ll run out of parts, and then we’ll be in a right mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft clunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know ye’ll be careful. Alright, things will be pretty boring around here fer ye after this. I just have ta fetch the part and replace it fer ye, so if ye want ta go bother the captain instead of hanging around with me now, I understand. I know he’s always happy ta see ye, so he won’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clinks, then a metallic thud and the whoosh of air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! I’d like ta see his face if ye do. Anyway, run along now, lass, I won’t keep ye from yer fun. If ye like, ye can come down here tomorrow and I can help ye practice some more. But I hope ye have fun until then!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cheerful whistle, and then silence.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>From around the corner, several engineers exchange wide-eyed looks with each other, while a few others eye the surrounding machinery suspiciously. They hover for a moment, uncertain, before one of them huffs out a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope. Fuck this shit. I’m out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns on his heel and walks back the other way, and after a short beat of silence, the rest of the group hurry after him, wary of being left behind.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>On the other side of the machines, Scotty whistles a tune, cheerfully repairing the broken system, completely alone.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Hacker Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>S’raak slunk through the empty hallway carefully, his padded feet making no noise on the hard floor. The Caitian’s ears flicked about, listening for the approach of anyone as he made his way towards the nearest computer terminal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had managed to steal an ensign uniform, so he shouldn’t stand out too much at first glance, but he also knew there were currently no other Caitians on board the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and that to anyone who knew much about the crew, his short grey fur, large golden eyes, and lack of regulation boots (with Caitian-specific modifications) would be a sure way of getting caught.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Running his tongue over the blunt tips of his canines anxiously, S’raak turned himself to his task upon reaching the computer terminal. He tapped the screen, seeing it light up immediately, and he withdrew a data chip from his uniform’s pocket. Plugging it in, he waited for it to load, seeing the screen flicker for a few seconds as the program within the chip began to download itself and take over the terminal. After a moment, a screen popped up where he could enter new code.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Working quickly, S’raak typed in a few lines and hit ‘Enter’, waiting to see the expected results popping up on screen any second now. Instead, bright red lettering took over the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Access Denied.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>S’raak hissed with his teeth bared, ears going back instinctively in a more… </span>
  <em>
    <span>primal</span>
  </em>
  <span> display of frustration than most of his species allowed themselves in the modern times. He could </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>afford to get caught here, and the longer he had to linger here, the more likely that possibility became. His padded fingers sped across the screen again, and he even allowed himself a few extra seconds to scan the code for accuracy before he entered it into the system.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Access Denied.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel his mane bristling as his tension rose. This shouldn’t be happening. He’d taken care to infiltrate the team doing maintenance work several months ago while the ship was emptied for shore leave, able to slip in among everyone else at the same time that all those cameras and audio sensors got put around the ship. Nobody had paid any attention to him amidst the chaos of the unusual request that the captain had somehow gotten approved. The cameras hadn’t even been attached to a station, they had just been feeding to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>mainframe</span>
  </em>
  <span> -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Caitian shook himself. That wasn’t the point. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>point</span>
  </em>
  <span> was that he’d seen all the security features already and had a chance to check what the coding looked like for the mainframe computers. This </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>have worked - the coding was perfect, he’d even simulated it himself on a copy that he’d made before the maintenance work had been finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His band had been hired to hack the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he couldn’t let them down by failing here, after the months and months of preparation that had been put into this job. They needed the money, no longer having the support of the Federation after getting caught stealing on their homeworld, Ferasa - or Cait as most in the Federation knew it as. So he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could not</span>
  </em>
  <span> afford to fail here, and this </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid computer </span>
  </em>
  <span>was going to ruin everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why won’t this </span>
  <em>
    <span>work</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he rumbled softly, his tail lashing behind him. He moved to try something else, but just before he made contact with the computer, the blinking text cursor began moving across the screen independently.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you doing, S’raak, previously of Kzi Nuwera now of Kzi Krra?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>S’raak felt his mane flare up before he was truly aware of it. He whipped his head around, looking around the hallway for any sign of another person, his nostrils flaring and ears swiveling in an attempt to pick up any sign of someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s there?” he growled, only to be met with silence and the empty hum of electricity in the walls. After a moment of waiting and sensing nothing, he turned back to the computer, deciding that someone must have picked up on his presence in the system rather than seeing him there physically. Before he could type in anything, the cursor moved again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am Lady. I ask again, what are you doing?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel his claws flexing in his hands, and it had been a long time since he’d felt this agitated. This ‘Lady’ knew his name, his past band, and his current one. None of that should have been possible from his program alone, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially</span>
  </em>
  <span> the name of Kzi Krra, as it was an unofficially named band of Federation outcasts like himself. There was no record of that name anywhere in official databases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was not someone to take lightly, in other words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... I’m trying to access the computers. No point in trying to hide it, since it’s obvious. How do you know my name and Kzin?” he asked, a hint of a growl in his voice, realizing they somehow had a way to hear him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Access to the computers is not permitted. Your Kzin and name are in your PADD, of course.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>S’raak froze, claws nicking his palms as his eyes blew wide. His PADD was encrypted and protected with every firewall he knew of. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How </span>
  </em>
  <span>had this ‘Lady’ managed to not only hack it, also track him specifically to this computer terminal?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care that access is not permitted,” he said, teeth on full display as his tail lashed. S’raak moved to try a different line of code, doing his best to figure out how to get past Lady. “And you’d better not go after my band. How do you even know I’m here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Look right, up in the corner.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>S’raak’s eyes snapped in that direction. Movement caught his attention as a previously unnoticed omnimage camera extended from the wall a bit, bobbed for a moment in what was almost a greeting, then sunk back into the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lady was in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>, either as a hacker herself (apparently better than he was) or as a crewmember (which was… not good). Either way, it did not bode well for S’raak, and he knew when to cut his losses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hissing curses, he pulled the data chip from the terminal, shutting it down entirely to erase the foreign program from its memory, as designed. Moving faster than before, he moved towards the doors of the abandoned hallway only for them to not budge an inch when he went to open them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What in the name of Iru </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he snarled, extending his claws fully as he elected to forgo subtlety entirely. He slashed at the door, but his claws slid through the paint and off the metal with an ear-piercing screech that sent him stumbling back with his hands over his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Access is not permitted, S’raak of Kzi Krra,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” a feminine, slightly robotic voice sounded in the hallway. S’raak’s stomach sank as he suddenly remembered that audio sensors had been installed along with the cameras, and that was how Lady had been hearing him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please wait here for detainment, a security unit is on its way to you now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” he asked, well on his way to full panic. “My band - we’ll get you whatever you want if you let me go. You know who I am - who we are - you’ll be able to make sure of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I want nothing. I have everything.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The voice was unapologetic and unyielding. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You have invaded this ship. Have tried to invade </span>
  </em>
  <span>me</span>
  <em>
    <span>. You will be caught and detained.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before S’raak could even try and respond to that, the door swooshed open in front of him, and he was shortly in adaptive cuffs that adjusted to his bio-readings. A large man was the leader of the group - his peers called him Giotto. The man oversaw his peers getting a firm grip on S’raak as they prepared to lead him to the Brig.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for holding him up for us, Lady,” he said, glancing at the cameras. The lights around them brightened for a moment before dimming back to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, Lieutenant Cupcake</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” the voice said, sounding a little friendlier than before. The other security officers snickered at the address, but Giotto didn’t seem to mind. (Which, Cupcake? Starfleet was weird, S’raak had heard another officer get called </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bones</span>
  </em>
  <span> last time he was here.) Lady continued. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>He tried to hack me, and I took offense. It was no trouble to delay him and alert you of his presence.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would do it,” Giotto agreed, before turning his gaze back to S’raak. “I’ll be sure to send a team to make sure he didn’t do any damage to the terminal, and I’ll have the captain himself check the codes later to be safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, the Caitian was just confused, though his panic at being caught still thrummed under his skin. Who was this Lady, and why did she keep saying he tried to hack </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> instead of the ship? Hack her systems? Hack her ship specifically? None of it was adding up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the security team led him out of the hall, S’raak glanced back at the sound of the lingering steps of Lieutenant Giotto. He glanced over his shoulder carefully, so as not to upset the other security members holding him. Giotto was walking slowly down the hall, and he paused briefly to pat the wall, a fond expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks again, Lady,” he said, just loud enough for the Caitian’s ears to pick up. “You’re getting good, and your control is improving quite a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>S’raak didn’t know if there was more that he said because they got out of range before he could hear it. But despite the stress and panic that increased sharply once he was locked in the Brig, he couldn’t help but wonder why Giotto was addressing the </span>
  <em>
    <span>wall</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all things, rather than the cameras.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Enterprise calls herself Lady here because everyone either called her Lady Enterprise or m'lady (or sometimes just Enterprise) at the beginning. She decided to take it on as an identity as she grew more aware of herself, and decided to keep it for now, so people also started calling her just Lady. I couldn't find a way to fit that conversation in, otherwise I would have added it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Diplomat Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter turned out to be nearly done, meaning you guys get a really quick update this time, haha! It was actually going to be part of a different story in this series originally, but once Nearest was created, I decided that it fit better here, so this is where it ended up. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They feel like they are being watched all the time on this ship, and it’s getting really difficult to not start jumping at shadows. Oh, sure, the beings on board are all wonderful. Always smiling, cheerful, and ready to help with anything. But the feeling of constant observation is making it so that they are beginning to feel paranoid even about the crew - something that makes their antennae wave fretfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re just being dramatic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Soul One says exasperatedly in their head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They are all perfectly lovely beings, there is no reason to be alarmed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s what they want you to think,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Soul Two argues internally. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This ship is creepy, and there’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise. Three agrees with me too. We’re being watched, and this ship is crazy - they’re all way too intense and way too smart to be normal.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hush,” Three says aloud, carefully rounding a corner, their antennae doing their best to sense another being nearby to account for the feeling of being watched. “Whether or not that’s the case, we’re going to act as though nothing’s wrong until we can get to the Wirrewii Quadrant and can get dropped off on the nearest station.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fine,</span>
  </em>
  <span> One huffs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just because you’re the strongest and in charge of our body doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least ask for our opinion first. I happen to quite like it here. Lieutenant Uhura has offered to teach us some useful phrases in Terran Standard, and the Captain has been most gracious.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t even mention the Captain! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Two exclaims frantically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’ll hear you, even if he isn’t Connected! He’ll find a way! You just don’t see it because you are being oblivious, One. Three sees it too, that’s why we aren’t staying. The Captain is the worst of them all!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? I thought that the Commander was worse and that he was being reined in by the Captain.” Three sighs in relief as they make it back to their quarters and the door closes behind them, feeling safer in the enclosed space of their room even if the watched feeling doesn’t go away entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three moves their body through their nightly routine, their stress knotting their muscles up. Wincing, they retire to their bed, sleeping fitfully throughout the night as the feeling of being watched comes and goes.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Breakfast the next morning is a tense affair. The Collective’s antennae are twitchy and their meal of </span>
  <em>
    <span>kilpra</span>
  </em>
  <span> tastes more like stone than anything. Still, One demands that Three make them eat it, both for the sake of propriety and for the sake of keeping their body in good condition. Three complies, grudgingly, shoving the food in their mouth despite the taste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words make the Collective jolt, their hands nearly dropping their fork as they turn to look up at the two Humans standing beside their table. At the diplomat’s clear surprise, the slightly smaller of the two looks a little apologetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apologies, we did not mean to startle you,” he says, a bit of an accent underlying his Standard. “We realized you were eating alone and wanted to ask if we could join you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... Alright,” the Collective responds after a moment of internal discussion. “You are Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov, yes? I believe I briefly met you on the Bridge when I first arrived.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s us!” the other officer comments as they both sit down at the table with their meals. “I’m sorry, I missed the specific way to pronounce your name in the welcome, Diplomat, and I would hate to accidentally offend you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am Diplomat Tricollective Klumzod from the moon Blarhuru, but you may call me Tricollective or Klumzod, as I am aware that your species prefers shorter terms of address” the Collective replies agreeably. “I am en route to a meeting on behalf of Majesty Pentacollective Helrop of our mother planet Ferorg, which will be taking place in a few standard cycles from now. Starfleet was kind enough to lend your ship for the journey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, right. I remember the captain mentioning that now,” Lieutenant Sulu comments, glancing towards Ensign Chekov. “There was just so much going on with your arrival that I wasn’t sure I was remembering the details right. Regardless, we are happy to have you here for the duration of your journey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! How has your stay been? Has the ship been satisfactory?” the younger officer pipes up, eyes curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here, the Collective pauses. Honesty would have them saying no, their trip has been incredibly stressful due to their unending feeling of being observed by someone unseen. However, diplomacy would have them saying yes, it’s been a wonderful trip so far with no issues.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Settle for a middle ground then</span>
  </em>
  <span>, One internally huffs to Three, who controls their voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It has certainly been an interesting trip,” the diplomat concedes. The pair across from them blink as if catching the carefully neutral words they had used. Before either of the ship’s officers can respond, though a loud thrum and a slight jolt run through the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scotty,” Sulu groans to Chekov, eyes rolling to the ceiling in exasperation. The diplomat hears none of it though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Already on edge, the Collective bolts to their feet, running out of the dining area into the adjacent hall, making their way quickly back to their room to hunker down until they get an explanation about the occurrence. Collectives are not meant for direct confrontation - never have been. If something is wrong, Diplomat Tricollective Klumzod will stay safely out of the way, thank you very much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another shudder shakes the ship, and this time the lights go out, leaving behind only the red glow of the emergency lighting to illuminate the dark room. There is silence after that, and after long minutes passing of nothing else happening, the diplomat creeps their way to the door of their room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They listen closely for a moment, and upon hearing no disturbance to the silence, open it. The door hisses open quietly, revealing a hallway as dark and dimly lit as the interior of their room. The Collective contemplates the merits of trying to find an officer to ask what is wrong when a sudden white light at the end of the hallway catches their attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There, at the end of the hall, is a silhouetted figure who is making their way towards the diplomat. Above them, the lights are on, and as they move through the hallway the next light in front of them turns on as the one just behind them shuts off. The result is a light that moves in time with the person approaching the Collective despite the sudden shadows, and they shudder as the feeling of being watched suddenly returns with a vengeance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Diplomat Tricollective Klumzod!” the figure calls out, and they squint through the light to see the captain walking calmly in their direction as the light moves with him. It is the most terrifying thing the Collective has seen in a while, and even One is now quiet in the wake of Two’s panic. “Glad to see you are alright. Our head of engineering was just running a few experiments and accidentally got our lights in the process.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The diplomat has no response for that, and after a moment of silence, the captain continues, now a few paces from them, face both illuminated from the overhead light and cast in a deep red glow from the surrounding emergency lights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I apologize for any discomfort this may cause - the lights should be back soon, and the engineer in question has already been reprimanded for his actions,” the captain says, looking down at him with too-blue eyes and a smile that the Collective thinks is supposed to be charming but that the red light and shadows make sharp. “If there is anywhere you’d prefer to be, I can take you there, and if not, then feel free to remain where you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We-we’ll stay here,” the Collective squeaks out. The captain smiles wider, and it’s even more terrifying than before, the lights above glinting off his bared teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, sorry again. This won’t happen a second time, so no need to worry about it!” The captain turns to leave, before suddenly remembering something and turning to look at the diplomat over his shoulder. “If you need anything at all in the meantime, feel free to message any of us on the Bridge!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three manages to stutter out their agreement as the captain leaves to finish handling the situation before Two’s internal screeching finally prompts them all the way back into the room. As they are about to close the door, they hear the captain start to say something, and One’s curiosity prompts them to remain a moment longer, peering carefully down the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks m’lady for the help with the lights,” the captain says, seemingly at random. “It really helped. Think you can keep it up until I get back to the Bridge?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, the entire hall lights up normally for a moment, before they go out again with only the light around the captain remaining on. A slightly robotic feminine giggle fills the air, and the Collective nearly jumps out of their skin as the feeling they’ve been noticing since they arrived on this ship reaches almost unbearable levels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, captain!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes bulging, the diplomat slams their hand down on the button to close the door, rushing back to the most secluded corner of their room to wait out the rest of the blackout - and maybe even the rest of the trip.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Upon returning to the mother planet Ferorg after the meeting (the return journey made through slow, familiar shuttles this time), Majesty Pentacollective Helrop of Ferorg asks Diplomat Tricollective Klumzod about their journey aboard the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enterprise</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The diplomat gives a vague response, before letting the Majesty know that they believe it is their calling to be Blarhuru Representative Tricollective Klumzod instead, or maybe Royal Attendant Tricollective Klumzod, and would it be possible for a career change?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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